My Lifetime Wishlist...

Always had this Bucket List written and kept somewhere in my memory. We got to have a figure cap somewhere so 40 is a good number to go by. Getting there soon, but I figure I still have a bit of time to spare. The list is actually longer than this but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Here's sharing some major and significant things I want to do before I turn 40:

1.  Visit Bali - Checked! HERE is proof!
2.  Settle all my debts
3.  Climb Gunung Kinabalu - Checked! HERE is proof!
4.  Visit New Zealand
5.  Do Bungee Jumping
6.  Be a DeeJay ... for a day
7.  Visit Phuket - Checked! HERE is proof!
8.  Buy and own a property - Checked! *Proof wasn't documented*
9.  Hold an AK47 and go on a target practice with the army boys for 1 day
10.  Shake hands with the Queen of England

11.  Have a fairy tale marriage proposal - Checked! HERE is proof!
12.  Walk down the aisle in daddy's arms in daddy's little church - Checked! HERE is proof!
13.  Campfire outing by a lakeside
14.  Have a baby via normal delivery
15.  Take my parents on a holiday overseas
16.  Meet and have coffee with at least one Hollywood celebrity
17.  Visit Maldives
18.  Make love on a private beach
19.  Build and own an English cottage

20.  Own a tree house in the country
21.  Own that exclusive Taylor Acoustic guitar that costs around RM3,600
22.  Enjoy one snowy winter in London with my family
23.  Have a fat savings account that will last my family another 50 years
24.  Own and run a Food Truck business
25.  Attend an Alan Jackson concert or any famous country singer concert
26.  Visit Bangkok - Checked! *Proof wasn't documented*
27.  Attend a Masquerade ball
28.  Write and publish a romance best seller
29.  Visit Jerusalem
30.  Get wish list from 10 children with special needs and help fulfill them

Possible? We're working on it one day at a time and checking them off the list one by one with pure satisfaction.

So care to share what yours are? Here's wishing you all Good Luck and All The Best in achieving YOUR LIFETIME WISHLIST too!

And Here’s to the Final Countdown!

Well, how do you like counting down so far?

 

Getting dolled up for the prewedding shoot...

I have every intention to do a final countdown with this entry, but hey, I think I’ve hit the wall and now my writer’s mind is going on a silent strike. Blocked, is what it is. Or perhaps I’m just too many emotions all in one that I cannot simply put words into phrases without making one emotion less important than the other. Because they are all, of course, significant. 

 Timeless journey...

Nevertheless, cheer me on lovelies. Because with or without coffee and whether it will make sense or not, I will finish this entry.

In less than 24 hours and I will embark on the biggest most meaningful journey of my life. Some people waited a lifetime; some had this moment handed over to them. I, on the other hand, is about to cross that bridge because it’s finally here. And then, you will also have the pleasure to see me burn that bridge down. 

You see, a lot of people didn’t expect me to get married. In fact, even I did not expect me to get married! So the fact that it is happening is well… a little dreamy. A tad unrealistic but not altogether impossible. Hey, not owing anybody any explanation for that one. Right now I am merely accepting and embracing this little knowledge that soon I will have a permanent golden band to wear. 

 

 A vow made in front of God and men...

Who would’ve thought this day would arrive? I didn’t. But I sure do love the surprise it brings. So there’s hope. There’s always hope for a gift of life and love. 

The old saying is true. When you don’t look for it, that’s when it will find you. I was walking through one heck of self-destructive road when my future came along and handed me caramel macchiato, and I never looked back ever since.

The Bestman and the Maid Of Honour tool of choice ...

Oh I could write a whole novel about that. But I won’t because it won’t be a complete book.

And now it is time to bury the hatchet, lay down some stubborn ghosts to rest, torch the bridge, close the book, and sign off for the last time as ME-the single woman. 

 Reliving that perfect coffee moment where it all began...

I like the sound of that. I like the sound of that very much.

So you have fun! I’m gonna go and get myself hitched now! 

NOTE: Will return to post more after the honeymoon trip right after the function. Wheeeee!

COUNTDOWN TO THE BIG DAY - Part 3 and The Final!

Daddy had a shotgun ...

... and that was probably the reason you didn't see many young men cluttering the house at any one time or another although he had 5 eligible daughters then.

I'm kidding … about the boys, but not the gun. The game were aplenty in those days, back when some of them weren’t protected species. Squirrels, wild boars, foxes, eagles, lynxes, monitor lizards, pythons, and many more wild game have felt the wrath of the shotgun. Father was a great hunter, still is, although he has retired from the sport for years now. These days the shotgun gets rusty from lack of attention, although not broken but is now kept safe somewhere in his treasure trove. 

 

 Back in the 80s... Off hunting. Simunjan.

Oh don’t worry. He has a license for that gun. 

But truthfully, he didn’t need a gun to hold off those boys. He is ever the gentleman but there’s something about him that demands a quiet respect. With just one straight look in the eye and a silent composure, any faint-hearted boy would go speechless. I have seen that happened before and well, it was kind of funny really. My sister’s boyfriend didn’t stand a chance. Ha.

Father is a gifted writer. In fact – and I hope I am not bragging – I inherited my writing flair from him. I believe those two times I won the public essay competition awards back in my studying days, he was secretly pleased. I do still hope that. Now, IF ONLY DADDY HAD A BLOG, that would definitely be stuffs the publishers would die to get their hands on. 

*Yes I initially wanted to write about “If daddy had a blog”, but then again I had no idea of an introduction … nevertheless, I’m getting there now.*

Did I tell you he once had his writing published in a book? The book was a compilation of tall stories, myths and legends surrounding the Bidayuh community. Written in English, and published by the Swallow Publication (if I remember correctly). I read the book when I was 10. Dad's story was entitled "The Man From The Seven Hills." A story about a boy who went to hide on the seven hills, besieged by his father's murderer, grew up and trained alone, kept a bamboo whistle to scare his enemies, and eventually avenged his father's murder. It was a little dark but it was a brilliant story nevertheless. 

On the other hand, he can be really unpredictable. Like that day when I brought this young man – who is now my fiancé -- home for the first time, I intercepted him on his way out the door and whispered “Daddy, that’s my boyfriend.” It was an in-your-face no-holds-barred no-time-to-rethink devil-may-care kind of ‘Surprise!’ moment because I didn’t know how else to tell him. Then I braced for that fact to sink in. 

Less than 5 seconds and the surprise were actually on me! He didn’t blink an eye, but went straight to the guy. Father shook his hand with a laugh and said “Hello.” In my head, I went, “Wait dad, you’re not going to subject him to at least 5 must-answer-correctly subjective questions?” But in my heart, the whisper was a soft “Thank you Lord that THAT went well.”

And charming? Oh yes, father can be really sweet and indulging when he wants to. To his wife, to his children, to his relatives, to his friends and acquaintances, to his students, to his congregations. Was he ever strict? When the situation calls for it. Especially in bringing up his children, and where the Word of God is concerned.

Uneasily swayed? Well to put it simply, father is a man of principle. When he says No, it’s a No until the end. Humble? This man will never brag about his achievement. You would only hear them from other people. He prefers the company of the underdogs than those in high places. Conventional? ... is waaaay better than modern dads these days. Father most of the time spared the child and spoiled the rod.

Faithful? Oh yes. His holy union to mother has now lasted three generations. How did they do it? My observation says it’s thanks to mutual respect and love, sharing the burden, no secrets, keeping the sacredness of the marriage behind closed doors, and the belief that the couple who pray together stay together. A blessed union until the end.

The parents. Sharing this personal pic of vintage love everlasting...

It’s the same kind of relationship I desire for myself and my future husband, and one I hope to pass on to my children and their children onwards. Amen.

Father was a teacher by occupation. It paid the bills, put money on the table, and clothed us all. But perhaps that wasn’t his real calling. He left the profession to become a Pastor when I was just 6 years old. There were struggles in the beginning for everybody especially the adults, but eventually we all settled in and settled down back home, where our roots were. His firm belief was the promise of the Word that “My God will supply” and “Your grace is sufficient for me”. 

Well you know his faith and belief actually worked. He put us all through school and a lot more with his Pastor’s wage. It wasn’t big, it wasn’t meager either. It was just enough. He even managed to send me to university and look at where I am today. How awesome is that?

If he were to write an autobiography now, I’d say the main concern he would have is whether he did everything correct and accordingly in his life. I would gladly answer he did a lot of things right. With all his children. Whether or not any of us stray from his teaching onwards would be on our own heads.

Soon I will be the most blessed girl to have my father walk me down the aisle. Just like a mother, a father knows in his heart that the day would come when he would let go of his children one by one. Just as I know in my heart he prayed and continues to pray on every eventful day when he would deliver each of his daughters to the rightful outstretched hand of the young man who would take her home. 

 A firm believer in forehead kisses...

You got to love a man like that. 

He turned 73 this year, but in my eyes he looks like he’s only 55. His hair is slowly turning all gray now too but he is still my pillar of strength. I may not be able to linger around much in his presence once I cleave to my husband, but I will still be his little girl. Even writing this now makes me all emotional. Some love and sacrifices are really priceless and no amount of repayment will ever be enough. 

This one is for you father. I hope I make you proud.

COUNTDOWN TO THE BIG DAY Pt 2

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Next: The untold story ... 

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If my mother had a blog ...

... I could only imagine what she would write about.

She is this gentle soft-spoken lady who doesn't talk much, but speaks when the situation calls for it. By soft-spoken, I mean when she deals with friends and acquaintances or even strangers. But in bringing up her children, she is always assertive and will only raise her voice (or her eyebrow) when the situation becomes too much for both parties.

Of course, growing up outside of the technology era, childhood then was  more fun. No TV means no violent shows or soap comedies or daytime series where teenagers talk back to their parents etc. There were books, meager toys, and actual friends and same-age cousins who came over for playtime. Bringing up kids in those days were relatively easier.

I can imagine my mom writing a post about how her eldest kid excelled in babysitting the other siblings. How quickly they grew up and how she would wish she could hold back time. Or not... especially when the only boy in the family kept her on her toes all day.

She would probably write about the first day of school for everyone. Dad was a teacher then. He was transferred a lot, resulting in some of us growing up in different place, space and time hence the diverse childhood experiences.

My first day of school took place in Simunjan where my dad was the Headmaster. You'd think someone like me would be more obedient, or would love school because dad ran the school. Nope. I rebelled the first week of school. Throwing a tantrum (which lasted for a week) every time mom would wake me up. I can imagine she would post a picture of me hanging on the front door all teary-eyed and sniffly and looking unkempt while dad tried in vain to talk me into following him to school (with the other pupils watching). His gentle diplomacy apparently worked with the older kids, but not on the second youngest.

Lounging on the Throne: A cranky 3-year-old...

If mom had an Instagram, all of us kids would be a living journal then.

She would also probably write about her kids' achievement. Who got what place in class, who got how many A's, who wore what, whose friends bring what toys home, etc. It would be fun to read.

On the offhand note, she would also probably post about her adventures moving towns with dad after every promotion. She would probably hint of wanting to stay rooted or take permanent root elsewhere near home, but never would she write about her dissatisfaction. If she had any. She's the kind of woman who takes things all in stride. Back when she was adventurous then.

Being a teacher's wife and a mother of six -- all girls and just 1 boy -- probably has its own drama and adventure. I don't ever recall her complain about anything in her life. Not her wardrobe, her looks, not even her house which was always in a state of kids-chaos.

I was 7 years old when dad left the teaching profession to become a Pastor. And then the lady of the house followed suit and transformed to become a preacher's wife. I think she was made for her role, her humility and quiet strength just all fell into place. Dad must've been very proud to have her by his side throughout the transition. Even now.

I remember bringing my boyfriend (now my fiance) home about a year plus ago. She was always courteous even while sizing up the man who she suspected was the one to take me away someday. She didn't ask much question, didn't offer much information either, but just sat there indulging us with her quiet company. Sometimes she seemed far away in her thoughts that I was often surprised how astute her sense of hearing was. Mothers.

If she had a Twitter then, she would probably say "Daughter brought home bf today. Possibly the one?" or perhaps "Look who's joining for lunch today! The first time my little girl brought someone home who isn't a classmate or a former playmate" or maybe "Omg I cannot believe my eyes. My baby's all grown up!". I'm ancient, but it's good to read that if she ever did tweet like that.

And now closer to my wedding day, I suppose she would write about the going-ons with her future son in law. Her deepest thoughts on the whole interlada, and if she would agree on the man of my choice, etc. She won't write it all out -- knowing full well I'd be a follower of course -- but if there's one thing my mom is good at, it's saying things accurately without saying anything at all. A strange kind of apt vagueness that few people could read into. Something that I learned from her. Vagueness I mean.

Mostly, she would lay out in coherent words her own preparations for the big day. Giving advice to friends, maybe dispensing tips on weddings etc. Wait... that doesn't sound like her. Perhaps she would just write The 101 on how to let go of your second youngest daughter. [Second youngest kids are usually more cranky and needs more attention than the youngest due to them being in that position. Youngest kids get to have full attention what.]

My mother's daughter...

Sigh. If my mother had a blog, I  bet she would be a very good writer. She would hit her mark right on the spot. She would be vague, insightful, perhaps a tad sarcastic, dropping lots of hints, but always straight to the point... if you know what her points are. All from the single point of view of a wife and a mother. And a very sharp observer.

But, as it is, I am only imagining this. I wish she did, because then she could write a whole book. Those are stuffs of a good story. How can the world survive without stories like hers? To have seen the world and not write about it, to have lived and relived those valuable life experiences and not recount them, to have gone through and so much, and not record them?

Meanwhile, this is a recount of my own journey. Soon I will be someone's wife, and while I am still and will always be my mother's daughter, I foresee that I will have less time to spend with her. I hope by the grace of God, I am in her eyes, the woman she always prayed I would grow to be.

This is a dedication to you Mommy, the Queen of My Heart. <3. I thank God for you everyday. *sniffs sniffs*

NOTE: COUNTDOWN TO THE BIG DAY Pt 1

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Next: Now if DADDY had a blog...