Talking about grief. Who understands the word better than those who have gone through the suffering of losing loved ones? Been meaning to approach this subject for a long time but somehow the points kept evading me, and also it might come of sounding insensitive. Not the intention at all.
But you see...
I find it strange that when a loved one dies, people tend to say "God loves him more". "God loves her more."
I not only find it strange, I find it a little lacking in depth because of all the excuse that we can come up with, we have to put it on something that we don't even begin to understand. The implication in that one very line -- in my own understanding of comprehending grief -- is it makes God sounds like He doesn't care that you love him/her too or that you suffered upon losing a loved one.
Subjectively, every time I hear those words, I mentally tend to add "God loves him more... than WHO?" More than the loved ones left behind? But why the need to put it in a comparative mode because of course God loves all His creation.
Imagine a young woman losing her husband in an accident... how is it emotionally right for us to give words of comfort in that very sentence? Can you really tell her that? Put yourself in her shoes. Someone you loved, depended on, craved the sight of, missed the voice of, presence, heat, intimacy etc...is brutally taken away from you and you don't even get to say goodbye. Try reasoning with her. Does God loved him more that He would prefer her to suffer?
Just a little example.
If this is me defending God, then it is perhaps a futile attempt, but I shall say it anyway because we all know deep in our hearts that God isn't heartless. He shouldn't be made an excuse all the time. Deaths that occurred always have a reason behind them and an explanation that goes beyond all that is humanly explainable.
Perhaps in some cases where an innocent child died from say, child abuse... I guess it could justify the phrase because indeed God loves the child more and doesn't want the child to suffer further hurt in the hands of his tormentor. But still, that is only my own reasoning. It still doesn't give God enough credit.
I am just saying. Because all this while I've heard that line being used times and again, and I feel like it doesn't sound acceptable at all. It's not being used right. Perhaps it shouldn't be used at all.
Surely there is a better way to handle these passing moments. Life and death are in the hands of God, true. That doesn't mean He would allow one in exchange for another at our expense, as and when He pleases.
I believe that if you cannot find any words to tell a grieving person, perhaps best not to try. Just show them with your presence, your moral and emotional support, anything... other than telling them that.
Post-note: If I offend anyone, I didn't meant to. My apologies. But the opinion stands.
