Thursday, June 23, 2016

Motherhood, diet, weight management, all along that line...


Back to talk about my current favorite topic.

Motherhood changes a woman's body forever. I'm not going to sugarcoat it because being blunt about it is easier than looking for diplomatic words. But before I go any further on this post, please know and remember that I am not complaining whatsoever and not even regretting anything. This is purely a first-hand observation and experience-sharing.

It has already been 1 year and a half since the birth of my baby and the day I turned into a mommy. What sparks today's entry? 1. My baby is not going to be an infant any longer boohoo.. but she is now running so all the more reason for me to run after her; 2. I am getting close to regaining my pre-pregnancy body in a verrrrryyyyy slow or delayed sort of pace; 3. I have not been updating as regularly as I initially thought I should and I want to make a good comeback (so y'all don't up and leave yet okay).

Why is losing my post-baby weight so difficult?

I could've just ventured on a strict Beyonce cleansing diet right after the confinement period, but I didn't. Besides, diet and me, we have some sort of a love hate relationship. Although plus points for lemons, the star!

Or I could've restarted my jogging routine -- and I did and even acquired a pair of sparky new sneakers for motivational purposes -- but it stopped midway. That was last year.

OR I could've just signed up with any of the weight management packages available around town, but I didn't either because the last package I signed up pre-baby days were still underutilized and I figured I need to get my money's worth back before I take up another one.

I never thought much about signing up for a gym membership because the last time I did that in the spur of the moment, I ended up going 4 out of 10 times which is equal to utilizing 1 out of 3 months which is also equal to wasting money. I traveled a lot in those days, so yes, bad idea to commit to anything more than 1 month.

To sum that up, up until my little girl turned 18 months last week, I have only lost about 5kg since then (not including the 7kg from the immediate birth and during confinement phase). Frustrating? Of course, every time I look at my unused dresses. And the pants that I can't zip or button anymore or the baby-tees that now looks like it's gonna burst every time I put on one. That, plus the fact that my wardrobe expanded to include maternity cloths + post baby clothes + other new clothes. I either need to buy a new closet OR lose these kilos. Take your pick.

Sometimes a decision to be assertive with oneself appears out of nowhere. Perhaps it was some friend's offhanded comment on the fat ass fat thighs fat arms everything fat which wasn't that fat before. Or the unfiltered question 'are you pregnant again?' upon looking at my visible baby bump. Well, something must've triggered it, but let's not over-analyze it. =) It makes me upset a bit.

Women like me, who gains faster than they lose, are abundant the whole world over. I have friends whom I envied who can drop kilos just like that after giving birth. Their secret to weight loss they said? Breastfeeding. But I didn't so I can't and will not comment on that. Plus, I secretly think they must be starving themselves (but that's just me making myself feel better) at meal times.

Motherhood is rewarding in itself that every time I look at my little girl, I go through a time-travel phase when all that existed was me, my huge belly, and the constant movement that reminded me of a life depending on me and my every decision. So every time that happens, I tell myself that having all these extra weight that just refuses to fall off, is worth it and I am blessed because I know many girlfriends out there yearn for the experience. There is totally nothing for me to complain about but so much more for me to be thankful for.

But of course I do want to regain my shape back, if that's what you're asking. Of course I don't want to stay fat forever, are you kidding? Haha.

Either way, between becoming a wife, a mother and a working mom, I have only about 1 to 2 hours to spare each day for a quick workout. Oh by the way, don't be fooled into thinking I have completely abandon all workout efforts, but sure, if you want to feel good about yourself. No don't. We ladies are supposed to support and build each other up, not tear one another down. Remember that every time you look at a new mother and the thought that enters your head is 'Wow you look big!'. At least she has a good reason. As a general rule, mentioning a girl's weight-gain to her face is a no-no, even more so when she's single. When I was single, I used to cross out all potential male-companion who ever commented on my weight or physical appearance, it has always been a sensitive subject for me back then that I put that on top of my mental checklist. Who cares about your looks when you can't even act as a gentleman at least for a few hours?

Anyway.... I digress.

So yes. In case you're wondering, I went into the operation room at 78kg. Went out 73kg as a new mom and 70kg went I went home with the baby. Up until this day, it has been a yo-yo ride. You do the quick math/guess, or don't.

Here is where I tell you that I am a work in progress, and although it has taken me almost 2 years to get back on track, I am back on my feet alright. I have set a mark and a whole wardrobe as my goal. Not going to be easy, I perceive, but it's a journey. You don't get there overnight. Perhaps when I finally get there, I'll let you in on how. =)  

The only thing that can stop me right now is when baby no. 2 is on the way. *sly smile* Meanwhile, let's do this!

Here's Carissa saying Hi from Bali!

Pic taken on 3/6/2016 in Seminyak, Bali

14 comments:

  1. Yeay! Wonderful comeback indeed! I agreed with the point where you say, us girls gotta stick together, especially in commenting on one's weight. I remember those days when my relatives come up to me, "Shila (yeah that's my nickname hahaha),why are you fat now?" And I'm like, "are you for real? Look at yourself and here you are asking me why I'm fat?" (Usually the ones who asked me those questions are either 1. As 'berisi' as I am or 2. Twice my size. I am also in my weight loss journey right now; and the reason why I do it partly because I was tired listening to the comments those relatives made whenever they see you once a year. For some reason their comments are always harsher than the ones that my mum gave to me. Even if they try their best to sugarcoat whatever remarks they were trying to make about my body. Can't make poop come smelling like rose now, can we? another part was because I want to lead a healthy lifestyle. Not because it is a trend, but because I'm scared of the rising medical cost. Working in the insurance industry can somehow makes me realize that money we leave behind for our love ones is indeed important; and I know mine is still not enuf yet. Haha. Lastly was because, someone actually pushed me to do it. Saya pantang dicabar; and well, I'm glad that that person somehow 'pushed' me to the edge to actually start jogging. This person may no longer be in the chapters of my life anymore, but I am forever thankful because of him, I became a more active person now. In fact, I'm more active now than my entire lifetime! But nevertheless, for whatever reasons one wants to lose their weight, whenever I jogged at the park, whatever their size may be, I salute them because they are willing to sacrifice those 20-30 mins of their day just to make themselves healthier. And I salute you for continuing your weightloss journey, despite of how hard it is. Believe me, there are days that you just give in, because I do. But that's okay. As long as you are progressing, it's good enough already. Continue doing what you are currently doing, and be a healthier you. :)

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    1. Hey Marcy! Truly appreciate your comment and encouragement. Good that somebody pushed you, take it all in stride, the silver lining. Yeah the relatives can really be blunt and nasty right? But I've reached a point where I don't really care anymore. Hurts sometimes, but we can't control people, so we control our reaction to it. In my case, I pushed myself. Well, other than the psychological motivation from my surrounding of course. Haha. It's harder when you've had a baby, for me lah, because the fat is just stubborn. But like I said, it's a journey and it's having results so I'm happy with myself. :-)

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  2. I'm impressed that you lost 5kg in the OT. As for me, I gained 22kg during my pregnancy but I did not take note how much I lost in the OT. One thing for sure I came out looking like how I went in. My mother joked that there is still a baby in my tummy.

    It was a struggle to lose all the excess weight as I gained a LOT but I managed for my first pregnancy. Then when I got pregnant again, I told myself not to gain too much but I can't help it. My body automatically gained as much again and this time, I am not able to shed them all off yet. My second son is turning 3 in August :(

    I am less than 5 feet tall so you can imagine how I looked like with an excess of 22kg during pregnancy. I looked like a walking shuttlecock!

    I'm sure you can do it. Slowly but surely.

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    1. Yeah 5KG worth of baby, water and liquid and blood in the OT. Thank you for the encouragement. I'm 5ft something, still short or normal Asian height and I was really big then. But hey, you can do it too! Just needs the right push. Harder when u have 2 kids, cause of time and all that, I supposed, but like me, if I 'layan' perasaan, memang never budge lah. Haha

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  3. i remember 3 months after Athena comes to this world.. a few asked me if I'm actually pregnant (they didn't know I've just given birth) No one knows how i felt back then.. anyways.. it's an experience only we know !!!!!

    stay healthy is more important than to lose weight the unhealthy way. Take your time <3

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    1. Same! My baby bump 3 months later looks like a 6mth pregnancy, LOL. Yeah it's an experience, both funny and sometimes upsetting. Thanks for the encouragement mommy!

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  4. I will never get back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size after 3 kids!! It is tough but then again, don't pressure yourself. Just keep healthy, is good enough.

    After 1st baby, I went to gym. I lost weight very slow. Then my 2nd baby. I lost weight very fast. I have to say I had the best body size and weight then ^^. And 3rd one comes along. Still fee kgs to my old weight now but alas. I dont really keep the scale nowadays. Weight and size are not really big issue. It is being healthy, I found one. Everything in moderation.

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    1. LOL, after 3 kids it is understandable. However you dont look fat at all Rose, trust me. Haha. Yes healthy is the key. And the scale is currently my bestfriend, Ive yet to reach my ideal weight but im getting there.

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  5. Ahem ahem. .baby number 2 coming soon? Kihkihkih

    Wah great that you managed to lose so much weight so fast

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    1. hahha not yetlah. slowly slowly LOL.

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  6. For me? None of the above! Hehehehehe!!!!

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    1. Hahaha u no need one. Enjoy your food like I enjoy your photos!

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  7. Whatever.. Just visit my website OK.. Coming soon.. discography Nirvana

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