Monday, June 8, 2015

The blank canvas project...

I have a daughter. She doesn't understand yet that she's a tiny little thing and that's why everything and everyone around her is either big, tall or wide. She doesn't understand anything much at all, let alone know that she is a Bidayuh, a Sarawakian, and a Malaysian, living in Kuching.

What she understands so far is that by crying, she'll let out the information that she's either hungry, sleepy, wet and need to be changed, or just doesn't want to be left alone.

She doesn't understand yet that there's a bigger world out there that might discriminates against everything she stands for. Or that somewhere in another part of this universe, a child her own age might not even have the privilege of having a peaceful surrounding to live in, let alone a happy one.

She's like a white canvas ... an empty starting point for someone so small, so innocent and so pure. While I am as excited as her to begin this little life shaping project, I am also every bit as anxious. You see, I have my painting tools ready in my hand but what I'm scared the most of is making a mess out of it or not producing a masterpiece in the end.
My little blank canvas...

But that's okay I supposed... we all have to make do with what we have to bring up a child in this world. I wish I could shield her forever, but that's no way to live a life. I made so many mistakes in my own life growing up, and sometimes I didn't want to heed anyone's advice because I thought I knew better. Sometimes I wish I had listened. But then where would I be today without learning from anything I've done wrong once to not repeat them? 

Our children is what we teach them to be, not just by words but by our every action. They watch and they copy. If you say one thing or do another, guess which one she will follow? And that's why I am a little scared whenever she stares at me because I can't tell which one of my expressions or actions or words she's going to memorize and mimic next.

Poor parents, the endless pressure to ensure a kid grows up right in this world today. Poor baby, there's so much more for her to handle!
The colours of life...

Anyway, the father and I are just taking it one day at a time at winging it because we know our parents brought us up right. Even if I may have strayed a little from their teachings, it's mostly me, nothing on them. So if they can do it, so can we. In God Himself in whom we trust, who gave her to us, this painting is going to be one colorful and beautiful masterpiece yet!

Here's quoting Dennis Leary the actor: "Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."

18 comments:

  1. One step at a time, she'll be fine.. Still a very long journey to go, sometimes we parents can't think too much, or control too much, just "sun kei ci yin" lor..

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    1. You're right, think too much susah, dont think too much also susah. =) Have fun with your third one princess!

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  2. going through obstacles in life builds the person we are today. she can do it! :)

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  3. Very well written!

    Indeed, an artist is always concerned the masterpiece might not turn out well but if you do your best, that's more than enough. I believe that with all my heart.

    Our parents didn't have the knowledge or the tools to bring us up perfectly either, and they used a lot of old methods like corporal punishment but it's all good in the end.

    Don't worry, you're a great mom! :)

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    1. Thank you. Yeah i remember the days of corporal punishment, kids then actually turned out a lot better and more disciplined. Now these new generations are somewhat 'manja' Lol. I'm sure we'll do just fine, hopefully. Amen.

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  4. She is so cute and her mama is so smart!
    I am sure she will grow up pretty and smart with your guidance to paint all the rainbow colours on her canvas. Life is always full of mystery and happiness is always around us. We humans tend to overlook many things.

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    1. Thank you! Yeah we do tend to overlook or look to hard at many things. I suppose we'll just take it one day at at time. =)

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  5. You make it sound scary having a kid of our own. haha jk.

    But seriously, i can't imagine having my own baby when I barely can take care of myself. LOL. Well, you know what I mean.

    Happy friday tomorrow, Coffee Girl!

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    1. Yes it is kind of scary actually. But putting that aside, it is also fun and adventurous and exciting! Someday when you're a parent, I'm sure you will be a good one too because it's kind of instinctive. You dont know you have it in you until you have a kid. So happy Wednesday Arms! :D

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  6. I like the quote. Kids. They would be who they are on how we bring them up. Life is full of ups and downs, choices and obstacles but believe in God. He will show the way.

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    1. Thank you Rose. I definitely need God to help me and my husband with this parenthood thingy. :-)

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  7. hi ya! am back

    aha...he miracle of parent hood. Lovely to see her growing up day by day

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    1. Helooooo! welcome back! =) Yes the miracle of children. :D

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  8. Replies
    1. Thanks Manisha. :-) And thanks for dropping by!

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