Monday, November 11, 2013

Rereading those old posts ...


PRE-NOTE: I found an old blog post dating back in April 2008. Back then while still new in the blogging world, I wrote a few amateurish posts. Correction. I wrote a few self-pitying posts all in the name of ranting with the hopes to unload negative vibes off my soul. I’m a little  embarrassed to share, but shame is sometimes an important emotion to feel, I believe. It’s corrective, like guilt. The key is not to let the guilt and shame overwhelm your ability to improve yourself and your behavior. 
 


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The Worst Kind Of Fool...

… Acts without thinking, gets lead by the heart, rushes in deciding, enjoys the bliss way before the damages start to sink in, waits too long until it’s too late to turn back, blames herself for the unavoidable circumstances, and finds it hard to find in another person what she has always found in someone else.

The worst kind of fool is always misunderstood. Nobody takes her seriously, especially when she’s hurting. Nobody tries to reason with or understand her, they just be. 

The worst kind of fool heals harder and longer, if at all.

If I am a fool, I’d be all that. But what kind of a person would go through a life-altering experience and not be moved by it? What kind of a fool would die trying to find a silver lining in the midst of a brewing storm? What kind of a fool acts like nothing has happened when her very being has been destined by what she has seen, done and where she has been?

To all the worst kinds of fools out there… it is better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. If it doesn’t break your heart, it is not love.

Tomorrow is another new day. Take each step in faith. For I believe that everything happens for a reason, for if it didn’t, it won’t have happened. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to better the kind of fool I am.

Cheers.

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POST NOTE: Did I really write all that? Don't ask me what. But I feel like it sounded raw, like a fresh scar from a wound not quite closed yet but itching all over wanting to bleed.  I looked back at what I've been through years ago, and it's reassuring to know that I am still a whole person today, albeit a little jaded. But that's what life does to you. And I thank God everyday that I am able to look the world in the eye right now and say I have been the worst kind of fool and that has made me smarter. And Blessed.

10 comments:

  1. Sometimes I re read my older posts too, can feel that I am much more matured now, in terms of writing, hehe~

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  2. my old blog is more to selling cds, tshirt and magazines..not much to talk about haha

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  3. i blogged since 2006 tapi on off la. start dari blog friendster tapi only few saja yang sy pindahkan. regret it. hee.. difference are, different life, a bit different me. broken yet wiser but still so immature. hahaha ;D

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  4. Hayley: yeah me too. i had more ideas then too! lol

    Adi Herman: haha wish i had read urs back then

    Fina Sophie: sama la kita =))

    Willie: U too...

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  5. Cool, so blogging is really like a diary yea. You can read and might even feel how you felt when typing a post. I regret that I deleted my old posts :(

    Seems like it was a really rough time for you at the time. But everything is okay now, all those are past tense hahaa.

    Anyways, whether it's negative or not, it's nice to read awesome English. I know, I mentioned this a few times to you. Hahaa.

    Happy weekend, Coffee Girl!

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  6. I think my blog's quite impersonal...nothing much to look back and ponder upon and I'd blog about nice things most, if not all, of the time, anyway - plus it's all about food mostly but I do feel it is great to look back at past events, old photographs...and feel nostalgic over those wonderful days gone by. How time flies!

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  7. Arms: Yeah me too, shouldve kept the old posts. :( And thank you for the warm support. :-) Have a good Thursday Arms!

    suituapui: But i love your food posts! the pics especially. It's like i wish i cud conjure them out of thin air after looking at them. lol

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  8. Haha.. when I look back at my old posts.. i do feel ashamed too.. but I'm currently doing it again.. cos I'm thinking like, that's the way my blog should be. I started a blog to rant about everything.. but then i stopped doing that because people started to judge me for who they think i am.. and then I come to understand that no matter what.. i'll still being judged. why not just be myself. I can please everyone.. haha..

    come here to rant again after my own blog post. hahaha.. sorry my dear..

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  9. ahlost: u r right! just be who u are, and let the world keep on judging. :) it;s ok u can rant on my comment box anytime. hehe

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