PRE-NOTE: I found an old blog post dating back in April 2008. Back then while still new in the blogging world, I wrote a few amateurish posts. Correction. I wrote a few self-pitying posts all in the name of ranting with the hopes to unload negative vibes off my soul. I’m a little embarrassed to share, but shame is sometimes an important emotion to feel, I believe. It’s corrective, like guilt. The key is not to let the guilt and shame overwhelm your ability to improve yourself and your behavior.
The Worst Kind Of Fool...
… Acts without thinking, gets lead by the heart, rushes in deciding, enjoys the bliss way before the damages start to sink in, waits too long until it’s too late to turn back, blames herself for the unavoidable circumstances, and finds it hard to find in another person what she has always found in someone else.
The worst kind of fool is always misunderstood. Nobody takes her seriously, especially when she’s hurting. Nobody tries to reason with or understand her, they just be.
The worst kind of fool heals harder and longer, if at all.
If I am a fool, I’d be all that. But what kind of a person would go through a life-altering experience and not be moved by it? What kind of a fool would die trying to find a silver lining in the midst of a brewing storm? What kind of a fool acts like nothing has happened when her very being has been destined by what she has seen, done and where she has been?
To all the worst kinds of fools out there… it is better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all. If it doesn’t break your heart, it is not love.
Tomorrow is another new day. Take each step in faith. For I believe that everything happens for a reason, for if it didn’t, it won’t have happened. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day to better the kind of fool I am.
POST NOTE: Did I really write all that? Don't ask me what. But I feel like it sounded raw, like a fresh scar from a wound not quite closed yet but itching all over wanting to bleed. I looked back at what I've been through years ago, and it's reassuring to know that I am still a whole person today, albeit a little jaded. But that's what life does to you. And I thank God everyday that I am able to look the world in the eye right now and say I have been the worst kind of fool and that has made me smarter. And Blessed.