I waited TWO YEARS for this sequel to come out, and there I was sitting in the cinema hall watching and waiting for another hour plus for the real action to unfold... and like a bad foreplay that went on unguided, unfeeling, without finesse and completely tasteless, I was left unsated and hanging in the balance.
Not to imply that that ever happened, but you get the drift...
I mean, COME ON! It's RESIDENT EVIL for goodness sake! It's what the first, second, third, and fourth sequel should be building up into, not broken down into. It's supposed to be zombified, grossly and more intelligently mutated, more cleverly designed without loopholes facility, and more brutal or violent superior human that runs it all. Instead, there wasn't many zombies at all, if there were, it was like watching a rerun of the previous shows, simply copy the zombie scenes from either Sequel 1 or 2 or 3 and paste it in Sequel 5 and rename it 'New York Simulation something or Moscow Simulation something. Dude... How stupid do you think I am to be forgetting something like that? Not enough zombies. Not enough scare factor. Not enough!
And the human characters, well, wasn't that spider necklace/tag on Jill Valentine's also seen in Sequel 2 (or was it 3) and Alice should know what it was capable of doing to the wearer, so why didn't she attempt to take it off Valentine in the first place? And why do you revive the previous characters but didn't give them any significance, like Carlos, and what's-her-name Michelle Rodriguez... AND where did Ada Wong come from? Simply sprung a new character on me hah, when you didn't give enough credits to the ones you already have?
Oh let me tell you about the fight scenes ... it's like kids playing video shooting games. Shoot shoot shoot aim straight at nothing stand tall exposed and not a bullet through. I think the video games sound more exciting and lively than the fight scenes in here. You hand me a gun I can also shoot like that. Duh.
Wait... did you watch the trailer of Resident Evil: Retribution before they released the movie? I think the trailer is misleading. It was more interesting than what actually happened. In fact I think Alice deserves more highlights in this movie, and she's not even getting a good storyline. Her fight outfit was horrible, I like the one in Apocalypse better. Even when she was wearing just a lingerie, she looked deadly.
Oh, the scene where she woke up half naked wearing only two pieces of clothes tied covering the front and back... I think the directors secretly loved making Milla Jovovich do that, in fact she does that quite a lot in other movies too. It was like watching Fifth Element all over again. Seriously, no creativity.
Just when you thought the real plot was about to begin when you saw hell with all the gates and walls and the spotlight and mutant bats flying ... It Ended. Making room for Sequel 6.
Have I been crapping enough? Oh go watch it yourself. But I warn you, if you're a fan of Resident Evil the movies, better brace for it man. You might enjoy sitting there with your date and eating popcorn and cuddles, but in the name of all that's good and creative... DONT BET ON IT!
Good luck watching!