Friday, May 4, 2012

Dear beloved readers ...

Hey, how are you today?

Did I tell you how lovely the day is, despite the weather being hot and humid? Right now it's storming outside, that could be ugly on the road, causing traffic jams right when people are rushing to go home to their loved ones, or to their lonely lives, whichever suits you best. At least I have a place I called my home. My financial is a little bit rocky, but I get by on whatever investment I've put my money in the past few months. My social life is on a decline, mostly because I don't have one to begin with. My parents are hounding me to come home every weekend, and each time I don't, they'll be wondering where their little girl spends her time and with what company or with whom. The works I have lined up on my in-tray are piling up, and each time I start on one, one other comes up out of nowhere that it's nearly uninspiring to see through till finish. My emotional life is like a plate of mixed grill, I eat whatever I can and deal with it later.

Yes, life on the outside if you're looking at me, looks good and steady. I don't whine much, I don't bitch much, I don't complain much, and I don't cry much, which practically makes me sounding weird and almost unfeeling. That's all what you see on the outside. And I cannot argue much on that point either because I tend to agree with you. There's so much that goes on behind closed doors with me that to open the can of worms now is like embarking on a suicidal mission. Better you stay in the dark.

But you know what? I have stopped walking on the wide path to destruction and ceased doubting myself. I have stopped disliking myself for the person I had become. I stopped crying, that's right, I'm human after all. Those were real tears, I should be in movies. That was a pathetic life I led, going from one day after another begging for a rerun and a chance to do better. The only person that was stopping me from going overboard was me. I stayed sane because I kept looking over my shoulder looking for a chance to redeem myself.

And finally, dear God, finally, I got it.

Sometimes the only way to go about life is to take all risks, cut your losses, and let the hot air balloon go to wherever the wind takes it. Quite a risk, but if you don't do it, you might lose that chance forever and you will forever be left wondering.

There are many other things I would like to tell you about, but at the risk of sounding sad and probably misunderstood, I shall have to keep a lot of things to myself. My mother always said that you can love other people all you want, but the real thing that matters the most is that you love yourself more.

And so here I go, loving myself more.

Till then, don't worry if you get nothing from what I'm writing here, I just want you to know that I am alright, I am alive and well, and I hope YOU have a nice weekend ahead.



Signing off,
Coffee Girl

16 comments:

  1. "Learning to love yourself...is the greatest love of all..." Live life one day at a time, appreciate whatever little blessing that comes your way...be thankful, contented...and you will be happy or at least, you can try to be. I am.

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  2. Hey, CG ..life is all about that . Everyone life is somehow like that.

    Just be happy whatever you doing

    Love ya, kiddo ;).

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  3. And yes, you mom was right. Do take care of our own feeling, happiness, before we decide to take care of others.

    And of course, the happiness and the feelings of our family esp our parents are the utmost priority :)

    Have a great weekend ahead ;)

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  4. such inspiring words that came for a frail mind...it's beautiful, sis.

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  5. Love your post today...esp the part whr your mom gave you tht advice on love yourself more before others..I need to do just that from now on.. :)

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  6. You are a great person dayung... Remember that :)

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  7. That makes us two... Life for me is kinda hard but still we have to be strong... and yes loving yourself is the best thing to do...
    Live and enjoy life... I'll mention you in my prayers. I'll pray for both of us..

    _Genskie_

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  8. Hepi wiken Kopi Girl! Nang lebat ujan ritok...

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  9. hi CF! i miss u & ur post. how does that sound to u? feeling any better? ekeke. have a cup of ur fav coffee & be happy! ;)

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  10. Dear CG, a very insipiring post indeed. I hv been there and done that. Taking the first step to be selfish to myself was initially hard but after a while, you'll feel good about it and without any sense of guilt whatsoever. Take care and have a nice weekend. ference is how we decide our de

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  11. Being heartless is not weird :)...yup better to keep ur secret then spill out all the bean, later its hard to do a "press conference" to clear things out from those busy body fella (damage control muahahaha)...
    Love urself? ermmm yeah...without urself then there is nothing to begin rite? .........stay cute sis, don't rain so much ;p...

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  12. suituapui: secret to begin life? in total agreement with you. :-) content somewhat, or still learning to.

    cyrildason: mom is always right. thats why they're called moms. =)

    İzdihër: thanks kiddo. some life r better than others, on the outside.

    mr_abs: im reminded of the first rule of emergency crisis, always put the headmask on urself first before taking care of the others in your care. how apt. u have a great week ahead too.

    Adi Herman: thank you. frail minds do more than their share of thinking. :-)

    Dayung Rais: thanks dayung. and so we all shd learn to love ourselves better, we're the only one we've got, right? take care dayung.

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  13. lvynana: thanks dayung. :-)

    Genskie: thanks for the prayers too dear. that helps a lot. Have a great week ahead.

    AmirFX: happy weekdays bro! ritok ujan juak ko. =)

    ∂∂kajan: sounds very uplifting! lol. thank you for the kind words. made my day. come over and visit anytime.

    Nur68: a time for everything dear, even to be selfish. but selfish for a good reason. thanks for dropping by.

    stan: being heartless is weird! like really. but thats life, right? rain still. thanks for the kind words! :))

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  14. such a pleasant writing :) have a nice day!

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  15. lily lotus: hi! thanks. u have a nice day too.

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