Saturday, March 3, 2012

Night time drive ...

What do you do when you need to get away from it all?

Sometimes when nothing else works, burning fuel on a night time lone ride does the trick. Like cool-aid. Driving around with no destination, racing where there's a speed limit, winding down the front windows to feel the breeze coming in, and tuning up the radio full blast. Cruising along the stopgap highway with the rest of the miserable nocturnal creatures. Looking for redemption, or a temporary relief from a certain ache. The further the distance, the longer the return. Sometimes just far enough for the tears to stop.

Sometimes it was a form of self-punishment: driving nowhere just to see how fast I could make the gas sign blink on a road I consciously know the next gas station is not near enough; or navigate recklesly to see how far the hands of God will keep me from crashing. Like playing with fire. Sometimes it was a form of punishment for the person who caused it: the thought of him worrying sick and angry at me for putting myself at risk, is like a balm to a miserable soul. Like knowing at least someone cared.

I know. I'm a little sick psycho sometimes. Especially when I'm hurt.
 
night rider in her faithful jazz

Or, maybe I should write that in PAST TENSE, all of them, because lately I find myself hardly doing that anymore. I got delightfully distracted enough to find my way home safe and sound day by day, without detouring.

Oh I doubt that would stop altogether, after all, habits die hard. There's still the urge.

Now I just do it for different reasons: to floor the restlessness or indecision caused by a few important matters that need settling. And I hope there will come a time when I don't have to take the night time ride to nowhere alone anymore.

Will this peace settle at last? God help me.

p/s: Oh great. Why am I feeling mellow all of a sudden?

21 comments:

  1. bercinta kot!!tu sbb tetiba mellow,mellow......

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  2. Can drive to Sibu! LOL!!!

    P.S. Darn the word verification! So hard to read sometimes! @#$%^&*!!!! This is my fifth attempt...and if I can't get it posted, I'm logging out.

    P.P.S. Now my sixth...

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  3. been there, done that. but you're better at putting words together.. :)

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  4. Mesti salu nyukat jeraya kuching juak tok nak?! haha...

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  5. Ah.. Now a sense of heartache.. Do not be too impulsive if you still have to take your solitary night ride...
    Take time to think, to reflect.. Arterall everything happens for a reason. Non?

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  6. Done that before but not after I've got a driver for me ( my hubby) LOL! I know exactly how you feel but then it is better to diversify it to a better and healthier way to release stress :)

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  7. i love driving at night, but somehow it's kinda dangerous when i were alone out there..

    Latest: Pick The Best from The Rest!

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  8. macam mek orang di ulu tok terpaksala berkayuh perahu mun itu macam

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  9. a night drive...??? all alone...??? careful out there will ya? oh, one more thing...yeah, i miss my time with my "angels" :(

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  10. saya tak tipu: hahahahhaha agaknya kot, entahlah *selamba*

    suituapui: oh sorry for the comment verification, but i know how u feel esp when i leave comments at other blog, rasa geram pun ada. :-) well that proves ur not a robot. Sibu 5 hours? maybe one day roadtrip! furthest i drove was sri aman je.

    Fina Sophie: all brokenhearted girls with a D driving license has done that at one point or another. so we're normal. yeay!

    AmirFX: nang benar ko... selalu nyukat tapi gik juak sesat, hahaha. tapi bila sesat syuk indah

    Wan Shariff: yes i know, all things happen for a reason. but there were times when desperate people just do desperate things, who can understand it? sigh...

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  11. Venie: ;-) that was how i got hooked on caffeine, by diversifying. if someone can teach me football, that wud be a better idea too. :-)

    Fish: true, risky for young ladies to be out alone at night driving, u never know who will race with u. but always keep a prayer close by. ;-)

    Korawk: ye tak ye jugak. dapat berakit-rakit ke hulu. hehe

    Battousai: yes, now u know. those times when the angels were busy with some other people. sigh... miss those times too. Bila kopi tek? ;-)

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  12. i was once, caffeine-addicted. i love 3 in 1 nescafe, the mild one.

    but but but

    there are cases, where people get diabetes due to 3 in 1 addiction.

    soooo, i am no more caffeind addicted. already balek ke pangkal jalan bah. haha


    and i wish u can tell me, what type of coffee that is great. please? hehe :)

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  13. i was once, caffeine-addicted. i love 3 in 1 nescafe, the mild one.

    but but but

    there are cases, where people get diabetes due to 3 in 1 addiction.

    soooo, i am no more caffeind addicted. already balek ke pangkal jalan bah. haha


    and i wish u can tell me, what type of coffee that is great. please? hehe :)

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  14. Sherrie: Amen sister!

    Mr_abs: i havent had nescafe 3in1 since 2003, they just dont do the trick anymore compared to when i was in college days and i depended on it for my exams. now nescafe (mild ka, regular ka, rich ka) semua manis, my system cannot take it. So i switched to Aik Cheong, Kopimas and Kopiko brands, alternately. Lately i go for Tenom Coffee, and just this month I started on Ipoh White Coffee (King brand, all the way from Ipoh). those r my recommended brands for 3-in-1. BUT BUT... if you like it black, just go for regular ground coffee (RM18 per kg at your local store). Lagi sedap. :-)

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  15. hmm.. must be that time of the month, no? Yup, we don't feel the happy vibe 100% all day long, mun sik sedih susah juak kan..? Sedih helps balance things out, i believe that :)

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  16. Ida: nah, nothing to do with that time of the month. :-) yeah ur right, it helps balance things out

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  17. kmk sik reti drive.gine ya? hehehe.

    p/s: layap baca komen abs tek.mek dolok minta coffee juak tp bila salu kenak serang gastrik terus minum teh jak hehe

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  18. Hani: mena sik reti? oh sikhal, kelak mun dah ada keta kakya tauk drive, mesti kitak akan ada sindrom tok juak. :-) p/s: kopi dan teh lebih kurang sama ada caffein tapi teh kurang sikit lah. kenak sik minum milo?

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  19. Life is just a journey and the world is the stage for us actors to play. I have been hurt and felt down many times. I would pamper myself with ice cream and good massage. Cheer up!

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  20. Twilight Man: good idea. altho i wud swap that ice cream and massage with iced latte and hot tub! =)

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