Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Weird friends ...

The last time a best friend married without telling me or even invited me to his wedding, I didn't speak to him for 6 years. He claimed he lost my mobile number -- lame isn't it when I have a leased line listed -- but there's always a way if there's enough will. Apparently there wasn't any will. It made me wonder just what kind of friends we were.

And then quite recently, I waited for another best friend to tell me something important, and then I ended up listening with the rest of the world. I hadn't been speaking to him since then. I had wanted to at least be the first one to know since we had shared so many good stories together and I thought I at least deserve that honor. Apparently there wasn't anything special about our friendship either, just an ordinary happening that doesn't merit much thought. Well what kind of friends are we anyway to treat each other so callously?

Maybe I should take a hint, yeah? That a girl and a guy cannot really be best friends, contrary to popular movie belief. That a guy will easily forget a girl best friend once he found someone to take over your place. That no matter how good a friend you are to each other, someday it will not even be worth a single memorable thing when someone or something comes in between.

I keep losing good friends. I mean, a guy and a girl they befriend each other differently. You can have a good friendship without romance getting in the way, or so I thought, but it isn't romance on our part, it's from another source entirely. Then you get the cold shoulder, the unanswered phone calls, the short and delayed text messages. It's starting.

I mean, COME ON! Give me a break!

Paranoid. I speak of no one in particular. I am just hurt that a person who calls you a best friend will just easily snub you out when you have no more use. That, and I probably should just stick to my good close girl best friends from now on. Because although it is kind of weird for a girl to befriend a guy without getting down and dirty, I might think innocently of the friendship, but he might not. 

Wait. Really? So was that it? Was it because I was so unfeeling and blind about how you feel? COME ON!!! You're just a coward.

That's it. I'm done with this BFF crap. I just wanted to be happy for my friends, if only they'll let me in on it. But damn. It's too weird now.


  1. I just ignored 2 people that I can say friends...human always change.... face it!!!

  2. Takut bini nya jeles kot.. Huhu

  3. ur post reminds me of my previous best friend. once he has a gf, i was like nobody to him. i think guy can only be the best friend to his own sex.

  4. Manusia sentiasa berubah..huhu...

  5. sian.. it's ok ba dayung.. let's pray for their happiness.. today is not your day, when yours come, you won't remember any of these, it'll be insignificant..

  6. Mungkin ada hikmah disebalik semua itu!

  7. "That a girl and a guy cannot really be best friends"
    except if that guy is gay. hahahaha
    seriyes. my experience lah kan.. ;p

  8. G.Dayung: i think it's still unacceptable. it's like ur ignoring a part of your self no matter how insignificant.

    Ivynana: i kinda thought so too, but if u were sure of her, then u wont have to worry abt me, right?

    dadyana: sigh... looks like it. it's really simple but some people prefer to make it complicated.

    Ms Tikot: change is inevitable... sigh

    Nimi: i'm ok. :-) sik puas hati jak ditolak ke tepi.

    Wan Sharif: Mungkin, masih mencari. :-)

    Hanie: Yes! betul! i wanted to say that tapi takut ada org sensitip plak. :-) mcm cerita My Best Friend's Wedding hah

  9. HeLLo Dayung,

    It's good that you have realised this. I guess, it's a knock on your head. I have known or experienced this a long time ago and came to a conclusion that BFF is total nonsense! I have left such a belief more than 12 years ago. Just remember that a friendship will never last but be rest assured that we will keep on meeting new friends.

    Friendship only exist based on our geographical location. Take for example, your friends now are your office mates. They could never be your ex-uni mates or your friends in other states coz they are far apart and the have their own affairs to take care too.

    Anyway, I don't think you should feel lost! Forget them. Make new friends. Your old friends have their own agenda. They move on with their life and I think you should too. If you asked me, I myself have never bothered to contact any of my old friends. Hahaha! because I don't believe in BFF! Trust me, they have never bothered about you too nor feel guilty about not inviting you. Like you said...those were just lame excuses!

    Take care babe!

  10. The Road not Taken.
    Robert Frost

    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could

    To where it bent in the undergrowth;
    Then took the other, as just as fair,
    And having perhaps the better claim,
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

    Though as for that the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same,
    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black.

    Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back.
    I shall be telling this with a sigh

    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.

    I agree with you your this posting.....we have supposed to be friends, but they never kept in touch 15 years will suddenly find our number, call us up at 3am, wanting "to tumpang your house".

    Before tha? 125 years no contact? "You know la, work and children...".
    Yes, who needs friends like this!
    You have a nice day....oh ya, there is a saying, if you want a friend, get a dog.

  11. i think BFF never exist. We tend to have better friends when we are closer to them, ie colleagues at work, and ppl who will listen and actually help out when you are in trouble.

    if they scat when you're in shit, then they aren't really your friends. As for invites to weddings etc, I gave up on being invited to weddings years ago. I always aim low when it comes o relationships with others. call me a loner, but at least you dont feel as frustrated when things 'crop up'.

    And one more, on the boy-girl bff thing, my personal experience tells me that asian girls are a jealous bunch. Despite the innocent friendship, they tend to be over protective, not allowing 'their man' to be bffs with girls. Its normally a 'its her or me' kind of thing. In fact, most try to jail their bfs/husbands from their girl bfs resulting in the men only hanging out with the guys. Susah balit umah kelak mun bini manas =P

    js my two cents.

  12. Ah well...it's just one of those things. Some so-called friends, we can live without.

  13. Willie: true also, the ones who always see and talk with everyday are actually the newer sets of friends. what im piffed about is the kind of excuses people give you to back out of something. sigh... have a nice weekend!

    Uncle Lee: thanks for the poem! Mr Frost couldnt have said it any better. thats like friends with benefits isnt it, the one you just mentioned? a dog worships you like a god... ur right, i think i'll get a dog. thanks!

    Cyril: im beginning to think a BFF is something ppl commercialized. not a true occurrence. and i dont wanna be invited to everyone's wedding, just one or two of the ones that make a difference. i mean, it wud be really weird if i didnt. Asian girls? really. i let my man have a girl friend, but then that depends, like how far away do they go way back. a guy wud feel the same too i guess. weird if they didnt feel jealous, dont u think?

    suituapui: true. habis madu hempas dibuang... eh can that be used in this case? :-))

  14. U'll be suprised to how some girls react. Girls like you are a 'small breed'. like seriously.

  15. Cyril: i think that has a lot more to do with insecurities. and thank you, i take that 'small breed' as a compliment. :-)) of coz there's always a line drawn somewhere.

  16. Most prolly they don serve coffee at their wedding ceremony? LOL! I have some ex-fren like that too... so, now u know why i say ex fren :3

    Anyway, forget abt them, ppl come and go. You'll eventually get a new one who will not take u for granted!

    Have a nice weekend !


  17. Venie: hahaha ur probably right! do people serve coffee at wedding ceremony? not that i ever encounter. no wonder they're all lethargic! :-) Thanks. hope u had a better weekend!

  18. agreed on willie comment. Got no BFF. And the truth is i don't even know the meaning of BFF. hahaha.

  19. Timothy: do u supposed it also means Boy Friend forever? no wonder theyre scared! hahaha

  20. I have the same experience. What a crap. I guess male bbf will tend to forget us once they found their soulmate. I don't know but i think it happenend that way.

    Bow i don't have any male bff anymore.

  21. Cherrie.Mia: Did we girls abandon our male bestfriends when we found our soulmates? I dont think so, do we? we're more the maternal kind, harder to let go. I dont have one right now either but habits, theyre kinda hard to break.


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