Friday, July 22, 2011

In other words ...

The words you choose to say sometimes are just as important as the decision to speak.

And yet, I grew up in a family where every word we speak must be able to keep up with our thoughts, especially those that aren't said. Where we learn to think faster than we speak, or otherwise bear the consequences. Where we shut our mouth when in anger, or otherwise regret them later. Where we don't compliment airily. Where we encourage people to talk about themselves, rather than talk about ourselves. Where we learn to be a good listener. Where we know when it's time to walk away.

My father is a man of few words. And yet when he preaches in church, everyone listened.

My mother speaks with her eyes. And yet we siblings can hear every word in clarity.

My sister mostly speaks, she doesn't talk. When I was 12, I asked her the difference, she told me I'll learn.

My brother talks only when he feels a need to. Ironically, his 2-year-old daughter chirps endlessly and mimics every word.

My younger sister whispers. He who has ears, let him strain to hear.

And me? I keep trying to figure out why I am better at putting my thoughts in writing than speaking them out loud. Why when I try to describe my feelings, people get it mixed up. Or when I try to explain myself, people easily misunderstood. Perdition.

Maybe it's just a matter of saying the words that have kept you up all night thinking about, that makes it sound right. Maybe it's timing. Maybe it's the listener. Maybe it's upbringing. Maybe it's just genetic.

So there I stood listening to the sound of my own voice ... speaking in the near dark, facing the mirror, glancing at my own reflection, watching my lips moved, unwavering eye contact, conjuring words out of thin air, whatever that came to mind, whether it made sense or not.

They're right. A speaker likes to hear the sound of his own voice. 

p/s: Sorry I ranted. If it made no sense to you, that's alright. I don't get it either. Happy Weekend.


  1. menulis adalah salah satu cara paling ikhlas untuk meluahkan apa yang dipendam

  2. Hi Coffee Girl, I love your very stylish eloquence, of putting your thoughts in writing. Very few come near you, and can feel very often the warmth behind your thoughts, or the humour behind the expressions.
    Love your subtle humour.

    I like this....
    "My mother speaks with her eyes. And yet we siblings can hear every word in clarity".

    Ya, my mother too....and sometimes just to emphasize or have special effects, it was that hands on hips stare, the looks that say, 'go ahead, make my day'.

    Sometimes it was a quick glance, followed by a look at our house status symbol, a 3' long thin cane hanging on the wall....her friendly persuader.
    Thats how I improved my jumping skills...from jumping out the window, pronto!

    Love the pic of you...
    Have a pleasant weekend.

  3. Keep up churning the good work/words.. :))

  4. u are a writer dear..... :)

  5. wa suka entry lu kali ni. hehe hepi wiken!

  6. ajar kmk english lok! suka mek maca setiap perkataan..mcm word of wisdom jak rasa...teruskan sis!

  7. so, your voice must be very sexy, eh?


  8. Hmm... very profound. I think I speak with my deeds. I am not good with words.

  9. Korawk: Betul. :-) sebab perkataan boleh diedit lagi, bercakap tak boleh tarik balik

    Uncle Lee: Thanks, we try. :-) That was just honest writing, i mean, saying it right from the heart. I like your writing better, you go deep, sometimes i lost track in following. Mothers are heavenly beings arent they, sent to bring and guide us on our earthly journey. Most people will agree that they're closer to their mothers than fathers, in a way, because we came from inside her, and we're a bigger part of her than fathers were.

    Ivynana: hehe... thanks. ya juak ditanganya.

    Wan Sharif: keeping up the faith right here. :-) Thanks

    Tia: Thanks mama. so are you, in a more humorous way. :)

    Hanie: Happy weekend to you too! wait... weekend's over, but one more is coming soon! Thanks, you.

    Vivilicious: makseh mem. it is supposed to be. :-) boleh ajar, mek pinjam novel ngan kitak suruh baca, without dictionary. can?

    Nimi: ehem... that depends on the listener, i'm sure. ;P

    MarlyMarble: oh my deeds are well, not quite sure how i'll measure those. who says ur not good with words? ur blog miss, says otherwise. :-))

  10. God gave us two ears and one mouth so we must listen twice as much as we speak... My grandma used to advise us to be careful when we speak as words that have come out of the mouth can never be put back again...

  11. One of my fav entires from you =)

    I wish I had your writting skills..

  12. laptop dell nak?

    I speaks a few words as well. but if i do speak a lot it would be full of crap.

  13. "The words you choose to say sometimes are just as important as the decision to speak"...COOL !!!

  14. Suituapui: exactly! and sometimes people end up eating every word. better the silence than nothing worth saying.

    Cyril: Thanks man. :-) yes you have, you just need to lie awake thinking about it, to make it sound right. wait, didnt i already say that?

    Timmylicious: Spot on red dell! :-) pandai! me too, too much words and it'll be craps all the way.

    Luciana: :-) borrowed words.

  15. Hello Coffee Girl,

    Had your coffee? Probably you didn't and that's why the rant came. But! such a nice topic to read.

    I think though you are nothing like your parents, I do agree that you are good in writing. You should go for a writing competition. Seriously!

    p/s: I'm trying my best to improve my writing too. Hahaha!

  16. Willie: Hey! actually i did join, twice, in my school days, and won both times, not champion, just second places, both public category, but money was good price huh. and wait for it... IT WAS BOTH IN BM! i havent tried English tho, i think im too old for that. sigh... Thanks Willie. ur not too bad yourself. :-)

  17. Wonderful! Insightful!
    Sometimes, people see our souls through our words. A proper word is as important as a proper spouse.

  18. The Tame Lion: Hey! :-) word and spouse? good comparison that one.

  19. kmk pun sama kedak kak vivian, english ktk kacak! ah, jeles kmk.kmk hanya mampu berenglish bila perlu.kmk sik confident.terukkan? D:

  20. Hani: camne nak sik confident kah? kena confident biar lintang pukang, esok2 akan pandai juak. :-)) ma'seh deng. iboh puji gilak, langgar tiang mek jalan kelak. ahaha

  21. suka sangat baca tulisan coffee girl ;)

  22. nice one dayung. very eloquent.
    you writing should be published someday!

  23. Fina: Terima kasih. ;) awak pun sama

    Tiq: hey lama hilang! and thanks, book project still waylaid. :-))


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