Saturday, December 31, 2011

Curtain call ...

They come and they go, and I'm still here, and what an amazing adventure that was!

  1. Moved into my new apartment and already everything smells of me now. The space I've always wanted. That's the biggest achievement so far this year, I think.
  2. I had a year of getting to know my new boss and how his mind works. Still learning. 
  3. My second eldest sister announced her engagement and she will be married in three more days. One less hurdle on the way before it's my turn. *We try not to jump the queue, it's my family's unwritten code of conduct*
  4. Paid off one creditor. Phew. One less debt to worry about.
  5. On the other hand, signed up for this group fund thingy under CIMB bank. hope it bears fruit fast and I can go overseas next year with the interest. Yeay!
  6. Donated blood twice already this year. Best moments ever lying there pumping out blood and feeling heroic. Next year will be my third.
  7. Spent time holidaying in Sabah, Melaka, and KL in the same year. Ok no more local trips for me. Next year will be overseas all the way.
  8. Burst my online shopping quota in a year, ever. The junks were mostly dresses, lingeries, books, and personal effects.
  9. Still going strong on the coffee, and recently formed an attachment to Kopi Tenom.
  10. Been blogging consistently for a year now after I got that April Blog of the Month from Sarawak Bloggers. Yeay!
  11. Met a guy. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Well that about sums it up, although when I think about it, I don't really remember the bad moments. Can't waste time dwelling on them either.

So with that, me man Hugh Jackman and I wish you all a very very


Look to the future,
Learn from the past,
Remember the adventure,
Will never be last.

Be kind, be lovely
Be brave and strong too,
Be different, be sexy
Be better, just be you!


Thursday, December 29, 2011

Beware of curves ...

Well you know, year end is always a tough season. Between the seasoned duck and the roasted chicken, and a whole lot of tasty treats on the side, I am closing one eye on breaking every one of the 10 commandments of weight loss. Thankfully the wet season drowns the appetite for sodas, and that's where the coffee comes in. A total love gained and not an ounce lost. Appity. I so adore this round chin, and now there's two more to love! Having curves is a priviledge ok. Careful around the bend baby.

That's one more goal to be carried forward to next year. Maybe I could buy that ab-exercise thingy with this year's bonus ... what's it called? I dont look that bad I promise you. I was gonna post my latest look in my Christmas overalls, but it's too pretty for the broadband to handle, so ...

Between being on leave from work and getting bad network coverage down here, I just have very little mood to write. And not much inspiration besides. But I still read you all although i may not always leave comments, so I got that part covered.


I dont have much of a resolution for the coming year, still working on it actually. I dont want to jinx it by naming them out loud because you know, when you put pressure on yourself, and you could get cooked up before you're even ready to eat. Hah.

You got any you want to share, maybe ones I could borrow?

Happy New Year 2012 you all!  

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A year wiser ...

Coffee Girl is officially a year older today. Yeay.

Dear God,
grant me the wisdom, the courage, the strength, the wit, the charm, the compassion, the agility, the backbone, to be a better person. 

Help me make better decisions, to stand up for all I believe in, and to stand up for all those who need me.
Grant me peace of mind, and a quiet understanding of all Your ways.

Oh, and  thank you for blessing me with a great family, wonderful friends, kind boss(es), supportive colleagues, a good job, good pay, great car, privacy of my own place, the ones who love me, and the one my heart loves.

 And to all those who wish me upfront, face to face, via phonecalls, sms, Whatsapp, YM, BBM, Gtalk, and FB... Thank you for the kind thoughts. They really made my day.


Yippadee dooda, yippadee dei! Wonderful feeling, beautiful day!

dont count the candles. (Google Pix)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Monday rant ...

1 draft speech done, 2 more to go. Nuked my morning coffee thrice already. Every time I'm set to go, something comes up. A phone call. A discussion. Emails. Walk-ins. And then I would be on it long enough for my coffee to get cold again.

Woke up at 5.15am today, drove all the way to my own place from kampung, continued sleep on my sofa, reawaken at 7.00am, did the laundry, washed hair, fixed breakfast, drove to work at 8.10am.

On the entrance to the building's car park, realised I forgot my tag that carries my parking/building pass, office door access card, and staff ID. Must've left it still in my luggage from last weekend's trip to Sibu. Parked outside, awaiting noon, then drove balik kpg again just to get my tag. Nasib baik kampung dekat sub-urban je.

Moral of the story: Don't drowse and drive. You're bound to forget something.

Anyway, Happy Monday people!

P/S: No ammo.

Monday, December 5, 2011

All I want for my Birthday is ...

 Pics: Lepo Music Centre

A purty little Taylor Acoustic 114ce model with the sexy Grand Auditorium curve with pickup. I could play with it all night long. The sound it makes is hot and heavy. More erotic than any acoustic I've beheld.

And this baby is valued at over RM3000 ...

I hope I dont have to smash my piggy bank for this.

P/s: Are you reading this dad? Mom? Baby? Anybody?

Friday, December 2, 2011

All Hail December ...

Have you done all you set out to do for the year?

I still don't have even half a million dollars in my bank account, and I have not been out of the country at all. I have not purchased my Taylor acoustic guitar, and my intention to acquire an overseas Masters Degree is put on hold. I am still not fully cleared of all financial debts, and the guy I am supposed to marry is still only a figment of my aunties' imagination. So all in all considered, that would be a big NOT YET.

But, I'm cool. 

I still have about 29 days to go before the year closes in.

Shall I press the panic button?

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Gone nasal ...

The only bright spot about having a flu is that my voice will change a tone lower, giving off a husky note that I find quite pleasing to my own ears. Well, not all things are bad, right? Have to find the silver lining somewhere, even where there isn't any at the time.

December brings with it the rain, the holidays, the food, the festivities, the weddings, the birthday (mine), the year end sales, the gatherings, and of course the snivels. The only thing December is not is snow, at least in this part of the world. But since our environment is not really equipped for winter, I better not wish for something I can't handle as of now. You want snow, go to where there is snow.

Anyway, funny thing about bosses: This morning I went to see mine to seek approval on something, and I started wheezing and sneezing the minute I walked into his room, 4-ply tissue in hand, all teary eyed from the effort. Yes, I am a bit of a teddy bear when I am in that mode, looking for whatever sympathy I can get. But he just took one look at me and went "Flu? Aww, really? That's nothing. You can still walk, can you?" with a grin.

Okay so I may have exaggerated a little, but that look he gave me was unmistakably a "Oh so you can fall sick after all. Not so immune now are you?" I gave one big sneeze, just for good measure, smiled and hoped in my heart the virus will find its mark. "Yes boss, I can still walk. I'm here aren't I? If I called in sick this morning, you would get worried." I retorted, then belatedly remembered I once bragged about having a no-MC for almost a year. Hah. Should have kept my mouth shut.

The only reason I turned up to work this morning was because I have so much to do before I take a long year end holiday. The second reason is because I would berate my subordinates should they call in sick at the first sign of a sneeze, even though they can still walk, so here I go proving I can so so should they. The third reason is because if I did call in sick, my so-called smart-phone would still be ringing all day and sending work emails my way, so I don't see the point in being at home when I would still be expected to work.

I wish you could hear my voice right now. It's downright sexy!

P/s: That's the Panadol talking.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Thou shalt eat only when hungry ...

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been months since my last diet, and with each attempt I've either lost weight (yes really) or gained back a stone for every pebble. I shall persevere. 

Allow me, Father, to recite the 10-commandments of weight loss:

1.  Thou shalt honor thy health and good spirits above all else.

2.  Thou shalt not go on crash diets; therein lieth the way of madness. 

3.  Thou shalt not clean thy neighbor's plate. 

4.  Thou shalt not eat when thou art miserable, for food is not a medicine unto the soul. 

5.  Thou shalt eat not when thine eye lusteth, but when thy stomach requireth sustenance. 

6.  Thou shalt sup chiefly on the fruits of the earth, the grains and vegetables thereof; on the fowl of the air and the fish of the seven seas, whence donuts cometh not. 

7.  Thou shalt take exercise daily, for why else hast thou sinew and bone, legs and sneakers? 

8.  Thou shalt be patient but not forgetful. 

9.  Thou shalt take delight in every good friend and good song, in every good walk and good day, for to enjoy them more is why these commandments are given unto thee. 

10.  Thou shalt not knit thy brow if thou transgress a commandment, but forgive thyself, for it is written, nine out of ten is not bad.

I mean, hello, who could resist this? 9 out  10, Father, 9 out of 10.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Online Shopping Junkie ...

I am unrepentant.


Proud to be.

 Comstock/Comstock/Getty Images 

Why, just last week I bought this gorgeous baby for a wedding I was supposed to attend. 

 And it my first time buying heels online! What risk. Thank God they fit. 

Will I repeat the deed?

Oh yes, definitely!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Tag: 11 things you should know about me ...

Ah. Coincidentally it's 11.11.11 today. Very special day. I bet you saw a lot of wedding cars on the road today, either on their way or back from churches or some other wedding reception venues or places of worship. I don't know any of my friends getting wedded today, but I wish the rest a good blessed marriage life ahead. Luck has nothing to do with it, effort does.

Anyway, I've been tagged! Been awhile since I got or initiated any of these. This goes to Ms Rose Ragai who kindly thought of me when she did this tag and passed it along. So, to reciprocate, here goes 11 things you should know about me (although in no certain terms could you prove any of it without really knowing the real me).

Rules & Regulations:
♥ each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal
♥ answer the question the tagger set for u in their post and create 11 new questions for the people u tagged the answer .
♥ choose 11 people to tag the post and link them the post .
♥ go to their page and tell them u have tagged her/him .
♥ no tags back .

11 things about Coffee Girl (in random order)
  1. Loves coffee, obviously. Mostly Black on normal days, but 3-in-1 will do just fine sometimes.
  2. Must have coffee at least a mug a day.
  3. Visits Starbucks once in 2 or 3 months only, contrary to popular belief.
  4. Been asked by a doctor once about average consumption of coffee a day, when I complained of sleep disorder and menses irregularity. Queer, that.
  5. Lost nearly 10kg within 3 months in 2002, due to a diet of 3-cups of coffee a day and 2 cans of diet coke, and not much else. (a subconscious unplanned diet and not recommended by the way)
  6. That, and the fact that I was a subeditor in a now-closed-down press company, doing 10 hours work a day and 1 off-day a week, with real pressing deadlines. There wasn't much room to go out and have real meal.
  7. Plays guitar in church.
  8. Once spent 2 hours being interviewed for a Senior PR post in a reputable company, won a second-round interview, but lost to another girl who were taken in favor of her race and religion. Politics never play fair. But it was a wake-up call for me.
  9. Loves fried Tempoyak (fermented durian).
  10. Is a December baby, 3 days shy of Christmas.  
  11. Is quite a private person. Although some people would think I am secretive.Heh. Not so secretive now leh.

11 Qs From Rose Ragai:
1. What is your favourite food?
A: Does coffee count?

2. Do you have enemy(s)? Will you forgive them?
A: I'm not sure about that because they won't tell me to my face, but I'm quite a nice person. Yes of course I would.

3. Do you have BESTFRIEND(s)? How many?
A: Yes, I do. They change with time and place. How that happens I'm not so sure.

4. Outdoor or indoor?
A: Depends on what you mean by that. Both, I guess.

5. Nicol David or Nicole Scherzinger?
A: None of the above. 

6. Love your JOB? Is it your DREAM JOB?
A: I won't say it's love. It's a job. And no it isn't.

7. Why you LOVE or HATE your job?
A: I don't want to have to work, per se, but if I have to, it would be for me.

8. Singing, dancing, sitting, gossiping .... which one you prefer when you are at a party?
A: Eating!

9. Do you have pets? What is it?
A: Does pet peeves count? That would be squinting my eyes to read a distant writing even tho I have perfect eyesight. Habits copied from bespectacled siblings.

10. What is your crazy bad habit? (i.e: kentut di khalayak ramai...kih kih kih)
A: Blabbering.

11. What is your phobia?
 A: That he won't find me attractive. Kidding! I have none. I am fearless!

So there you have it. Since I suppose not many will answer this even if I tag you, I shall let it rest here. Happy weekend, you all!

P/s: My birthday will be 22.12.11 this year! Nice number ok.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Respite Session: The Single Ms Plural ...

[Note: I have not been myself lately. I've been somebody else... ]

Ok if you're so smart, then riddle me this:

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet,
When I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.

Gnat would be gnose and pat would be pose,
And likewise the plural of rat would be rose.

Now if mouse in the plural should be, and is, mice,
Then house in the plural, of course, should be hice,
And grouse should be grice and spouse should be spice
And by the same token should blouse become blice.

And consider the goose with its plural of geese;
Then a double caboose should be called a cabeese,
And noose should be neese and moose should be meese
And if mama's papoose should be twins, it's papeese.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
So plurals in English, I think you'll agree,
Are indeed very tricky--singularly.
- Author(s) Unknown. 

I snatched this from Google but have adopted it as mine since...

Suspension of activity. Watch it watch it. 

Monday, October 31, 2011

Mind-blowing sex ...

[The overdue sexy post - Open mind needed]

All that orgy-talk and simultaneous intercourse got some of you excited, right? Come on, admit it. Your curiosity overrode all else, as if I didn't know. When men talk about sex, it's a given. But when women talk about it openly, men would go on alert because that's mainly their subject. The world is changing, or is that a cliche?

In my faith, if a guy so much as look at a woman and imagining himself in bed with her, he is already committing a sin - adultery. Same goes with a woman. The Bible says you don't have to do the deed with him/her physically to actually sin. You can do so with just your mind. Like, if a person wishes so badly for another person to die, he has already committed murder in his mind. He might as well pick up a weapon and kill that person himself.

But that's my faith, people, nothing to do with yours. Maybe the same but different.

Which is why now that I think about it, some religions require their women not to dress indecently or suggestively because it will invite the men to think improper thoughts which in turn will lead them to sin. So yes, the mind is a powerful tool. Or a channel, if you must. Fathers with growing-up daughters know this. Mothers more so.

Now when I read in The Stars paper about the Obedient Wives Club (OWC) talking about having spiritual sex, I frowned. Maybe I was supposed to laugh out loud, but I was holding a mug of hot coffee and it won't do well to spill it and waste good brew. My initial thought was "Dude, really?" Twice I read it, still it made no sense and still the laughter didn't come.

Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. This, right after everyone initially misinterpreted the author of the book. That's right, I am definitely talking about that "Islamic Sex, Fighting Jews to Return Islamic Sex to the World" book. The one and only. I mean, at least a 'group sex' is more understandable to mean what the writer says it means, no matter how outrageous. But to say that it actually means having spiritual sex with multiple wives in different locations? Oh, that effectively gives 'ubiquitous' a new meaning.

Last I checked, only God can be in many places at one time. Omnipresent. But again, that is my faith people.

The more the OWC open their collective mouths, the more they sound like some Cult group. You know, the ones that are destined for tragic ending of some sort, if you read enough of the kind.

 File Pic: YodPod, the sun kissed hippie "Source" cult (Guruphiliac)

Smells weirder by the minute, if you ask me. That is only the first book. Wait till you see the second book! I bet they would have visuals and pictures with positions and tips and such! It is going to be a best-seller yet although I'm imagining no man will own up ever reading it. Who knows religious porn sells? Well what else would you call it? Madonna and her SEX book will cry foul!

Psst... they're selling the books strictly to members only (although how the frog it got into the wrong hands is suspiciously conspiratorial) so how about that? There will be a leak again, I bet you.

Yes, it is bad form to make fun of other people's belief. And I am having a really open mind, but sometimes, some things just cannot be open enough. Oh I am the last person you should ask about sex, but even I know how frustrating it must be not to have the real thing. Whatever happened to good ol' sex the natural way?

Oh one more! One more! This one actually made me sat down speechless. There's one part that says "It is important for a woman’s breasts to be sucked in order to prevent breast cancer". On a medicinal view, yes, it is researched that breastfeeding helps to reduce breast cancer among women. But this one is written in a purely sexual context, I am so sure they were not talking about babies and breast feeding. Which leaves ........


You probably didn't say it out loud, but you think it!! Ha ha!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

What do you call that time lapse between midnight and dawn?

I call it MISERABLE sometimes.

Haven't been to see my doctor in ages, I'm sure he would call it Twilight or something intelligent. Although in my caffeinated state, I would have to disagree on the grounds that tea-drinker knows nothing about this stoned and euphoric state. 

You should try it sometimes.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Bleed 3: True Blood

*Warning: There will be blood.*

Yeay! I did it! Twice this year already, and third time in my life. The first time I already recounted to you here and here. That is, if you bother to read the beginning of my heroic stint. ;-)

Well let me tell you something uplifting that my bleeding partner, Clive, told me a minute after I did it: Blood donors are special people because not everyone can donate blood. And the fact that you can, shows that you are a healthy person, otherwise the doctor won't give you the green light. That's priviledged indeed. Tell that to yourself every time you visit the Blood Bank.

Yes that after-thought certainly helped. I always thought I was doing a good cause, well I am, but now I realised it suddenly means more. Very heroic indeed.

Anyway.... today Clive and I did it again. Really, I don't have that many bleeding partners who could go with me as and when it's convenient. In fact, I was due to donate again last July but was pre-occupied. So today when I told my super-sporting boss that I was planning to donate blood, he gave me the go-ahead wave and said 'Good for you.'

Here's an encounter: When we walked in the room, two late-30s guys greeted us, all friendly and helpful. When I handed over my record book, they checked in the database, and looked and me and immediately launched his next conversation in full Bidayuh. Small world. One turns out to be my next-kampung neighbor and the one turns out to be someone my dad taught in primary school. See? I told you they were friendly. And when the other one looked at my report card and mentioned my age, he disbelieving said *insert vain smiley here* "33? You look younger! Are you sure? Married?" To which I smiled and said "Thank you. I know". *Insert many vain smileys here* To which the other replied after snorting at his friend "Says here in the form she's single lah. Why single? Can't find a man? Can't believe you have problems." To which I snorted and said, and here's the Bidayuh version "Duh siroh dayak, da dayak siroh aku." [which means Not looking for a man, let the man look for me]. To which the first guy replied back, "Da Dayak siroh kah? duh sebarang dari." [oh that actually literally means waiting for a Dayak to look for me, not just any man]. Haha, very witty of him. I swear Clive did not know a single word the guys were talking about. Minority talk. By the way, I am a Bidayuh, some exotic superhero huh?

Oh but I digress!

So anyway, after that little talk, which I always find to be an effective icebreaker, the guy took my blood sample. And asked for my card, so that they can contact me to assist in future Blood Donation Drive in my office space. Already networking people! I am on a drive to promote this good deed to the rest of my office mates and the rest of the 100 plus tenants in my office building alone.

Good thing this time I remember when my last menses was, and after the doctor who checked my blood pressure gave the greenlight for me to enter the bleeding room, I felt exceedingly great.

Oh and I hit a personal record of 8 minutes! Proud to be. Wow, that shows the quality of my blood. *come suck me vamp and live for another 10 years!*. If you read my first encounter, you would understand that a quality blood is important as many people who needs blood transfusion sometimes need a certain component of your blood only. But darn it, Clive did it in 7! I still lose. My next personal challenge is to finish before he does, all 450pint in less than 7. At least!

This is the good kind of high. The prick that gives you a huge level of satisfaction. Pun intended.
Next date is 3 months from now. Anyone?

By the way, if I haven't told you already, I am O+. Not many people have that type of blood - the generous donor but the stingy recipient. So if you are one, make your way to the blood bank, they are currently in really low supply.

So then, I leave you now with pictures while I recuperate at Starbucks having my Latte in Caramel Syrup. Remember folks, blood donation saves lives.

The med expert who administered me...

 Busy with my BB...

 Clive napping ... sempat!
 Covering the aftermath with protein...
 Hey donors get 'Priviledge Time Off' ... that's what it says...
A keychain and a car sticker for my effort ...
And recuperating with some really hot latte!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Wedding Singer ...

Yerrr ... saya akan menyanyi masa kakak saya kawen nanti. Adakah patut, lain orang kawen, lain orang yg excited? Ini bukan orang sebarang orang, ini wa punya KAKAK KESAYANGAN okeh... Kalau orang lain, jangan haraplah aku nak naik pentas memalukan diri sendiri. Family only bebeh.

Dulu masa kakak sulung kawin, kitorang seangkatan adik-beradik buat persembahan nyanyian. Saya yang Tingkatan 2 masa tu baru belajar main gitar. Boleh lah tahan, for an amateur. Siap mak aku asyik lap mata kat belakang. Masa tu aku kira baru start akil baligh, baru start kumpul peminat-peminat lelaki. Hehe. Sapa tahu mujarab punya taktik. Sampai sekarang okeh.

Then masa first cousin kawin lepas lama membujang, saya dengan adik nyanyi jugak. Sumpah time tu saya tak nak nyanyi, sebab dah pandai segan dah, tapi disebabkan paksaan dan permintaan cousin tu, terpaksa jugakla naik pentas. Lepas tu, time church member sorang tu kawin, awal-awal lagi mak dia bagitau pesan suruh sediakan persembahan solo. Apabila saya sambung belajar kat Universiti, takde la lagi wedding singer kat church saya. Kesian. Ada la jugak yang lain, tapi yang anak Pastor tu dah retire sementara waktu.

So ... walaupun suara saya ni jauh lebih hebat daripada suara Britney Spears yang tak berapa pandai nyanyi tu, saya akan berusaha juga untuk melalak dengan sepenuh hati. Nasib baik bukan tone deaf. Bukannya apa... saya nyanyi dari hati. Suara buruk kalau ikhlas dan buat persiapan betul-betul, pasti akan berjaya jugak jadinya. Kan kan kan?

Sudah semestinya lagu Country. :-) Sudah semestinya lagu cinta. Sudah semestinya aku siap siaga untuk buat kakak aku menangis tersedu. Biarlah....

Tengah belajar chord lagu satu ni... something by Brad Paisley. 

I am sooo in a Bahasa Kebangsaan mood today. Sorry.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

In memory of Black ...

(While it's still fresh in my mind. You can flip if you want.)

Any form of life is sacred, no matter that they are born without the willpower and intellect that we human have.

A few weeks ago, Black the Boxweiler, was cornered by a few drunken guys nearby a local grocery store. The sight of him cowering gave the men some sort of perverse power. They picked up empty bottles, broken glasses, sticks and whatever were handy and threw them at him. Some missed its mark, some bulls-eyed. The helpless yelps and sometimes angry growls just made the men madder. 15 minutes later Black came home trembling with rage and spotting bruises and tiny cuts. This went on for a few more long days, and like a bullied child, an animal is no better, and as the hurt grew, so did the hatred for these despicable men.

And then the tables turned. A week ago, a neighbor rushed to the mistress informing her that Black had ran rampage and attacking the men one by one, the assailants who had been terrorizing him for days on end. He cornered one at his house not far away and rushed at him gnarling and barking ferociously, alarming the whole neighborhood. The man feared for his family. And then Black ran after another man who was on his way home from work. He didn't make it to a safe place before Black attacked him on his feet until a crowd rescued the man. Black ambushed another man at his house one morning and almost broke the fence fighting the man who was wielding a helmet. Even then the man continued to taunt him.

This went on for several days and Black came home after each encounter. You would think a dog would not know any better, but sometimes animals are more acute than humans, especially when bent on revenge. Black did not forget the face of his tormentors. Wouldn't you? Hatred does that to a person, doesn't it?

The neighbor who reported the attack urged the mistress to leash Black before anything bad happens. The mistress' grandmother even told her to send Black away, far far away, if she loved him, before things get out of hands. It was like a premonition. When push comes to shove, something someone somewhat somehow will fall far far down irrevocably.

Fast forward a little. Last Sunday, as usual, Black was barking and wagging his tail cheerfully even on a leash, when his Mistress came home. She has a small kid and a teen living with her, and a group of us were chatting progressively about dinner and the weather. When she shared with us the Black incident, no one really took that seriously. Patting Black's eager head and cooing at him, she turned the leash loose. Black went rushing off in bursts of life and delights seconds after being let out to God-knows-where. We laughed and went inside, totally engrossed in a series of kids vs adult drama talk.

15 minutes later Black came home jerky, writhing on the floor and foaming on the mouth, moaning pitifully. His mistress noticed immediately, stopped her chattering and rushed out. Something about her face told us she had seen something like this a few times in her life to recognize it immediately for what it was. Exploding into action, she whipped raw egg and added salt in a bowl and shoved it under Black's mouth, all the while her cries were louder and more pitiful than the dog's. It is at times like these that I wished I knew what to say or do to make things better, although in my heart I knew it was too potent and too late to react. The mistress held Black's head, rubbing aggressively, insisting he ate the concoction, all the while crying herself.

5 minutes later the violent twitching stopped. Black died in the arms of his mistress and I've never seen anything more heart-wrenching as the sight of her cuddling his head, trying to stay the warmth, irregardless of the goo on his mouth and all.

To hear tell, Black had been a victim of sudden poisoning via injection -- slung shot injection, from the looks of it. I gazed in disbelief at some length some people will go to to achieve whatever end. I never even heard of such thing! Technology? My God... these dog-killers were probably still around the area waiting for him to actually die! The knowledge that those murderers were close by  -- they had to be, a sling shot is lucky only if from a close distance, and Black did not run far away at night -- made the hairs on my arms stand on end. A person who could kill a dog with such heartless intent, could kill a human too, couldn't they?

My sister held the smaller daughter away. A kid shouldn't see something like this. Helpless, as astounding as it was, I just stood there, unable to accept the fact that this happened right before our eyes. My eyes! I never witness such heartless act in my entire life. To take a life away like it's worthless. There will be hell to pay.

Tomorrow there would be repercussions. Did he bring this upon himself? No, not unprovoked. Did those bullies had a sound reason? I'm not one to judge. But as I listened to Black's mistress recounted the whole ordeal from beginning to end in between sobs, I prayed that God would look upon her and her family with grace and mercy in times of her grief. It is one thing to own a dog, it is another to love him.

I am sorry, I am being melodramatic, but this ordeal has touched me in a way I could not quite explain. I've had pets dying before, I even helped buried a cat or two who died in our care or at birth or freak accidents. In fact we had dog pets at my home growing up, but something about animal attachment just grew weary on some us. I'm better off without pets anyway, I cannot deal with too much love, but that's another story.

I knew Black. He wasn't a violent dog. He was a good farm dog, helpful and even gentle with kids. Every time I came to visit, he would rush over and crowd me with wet tongue and waggy tail and whimpers of delight. Of course I would remember, I dislike dog wet licks on my bare legs, but I didn't push him away. How could anyone, when showered with such open demonstrative adoration?

Being Christians, we accept this with forgiving hearts, but God sees all things, and we believe God will avenge accordingly. As long as I, we, do not raise our hands to another. Even right now, I breath prayers to the souls of the men who did this.

Rest in peace, Black.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I'm a beautiful whale ...

Good morning! Good morning! A beautiful single 40something successful career woman -- also a professional peer and a good friend -- posted something on my wall on FB this morning, and I can't help but feel enlightened and delightfully cheered up by it.

Want to read something awe-inspiring, ladies? Monday is too big to face alone. I didn't write this, although I wish I did because it's truly brilliant. Ms Delphine Fieberg posted this on her wall, and now all you lovely big bony women -- me included -- will know what a true beauty you are and appreciate it to the fullest, irregardless of what your thinner peers say or look like next to you. 

- - - - - - - - -
A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great t...enderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale. At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends. We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

* Image of French Model Tara Flynn*  courtesy of French Elle mag.

~ Delphine Fieberg ~ 
 - - - - - - - - -

 Besides, Whales are real! Mermaids are just mythological aquatic creatures. 

Have fun ahead you wicked sexy big bold beautiful creature you! 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Weird friends ...

The last time a best friend married without telling me or even invited me to his wedding, I didn't speak to him for 6 years. He claimed he lost my mobile number -- lame isn't it when I have a leased line listed -- but there's always a way if there's enough will. Apparently there wasn't any will. It made me wonder just what kind of friends we were.

And then quite recently, I waited for another best friend to tell me something important, and then I ended up listening with the rest of the world. I hadn't been speaking to him since then. I had wanted to at least be the first one to know since we had shared so many good stories together and I thought I at least deserve that honor. Apparently there wasn't anything special about our friendship either, just an ordinary happening that doesn't merit much thought. Well what kind of friends are we anyway to treat each other so callously?

Maybe I should take a hint, yeah? That a girl and a guy cannot really be best friends, contrary to popular movie belief. That a guy will easily forget a girl best friend once he found someone to take over your place. That no matter how good a friend you are to each other, someday it will not even be worth a single memorable thing when someone or something comes in between.

I keep losing good friends. I mean, a guy and a girl they befriend each other differently. You can have a good friendship without romance getting in the way, or so I thought, but it isn't romance on our part, it's from another source entirely. Then you get the cold shoulder, the unanswered phone calls, the short and delayed text messages. It's starting.

I mean, COME ON! Give me a break!

Paranoid. I speak of no one in particular. I am just hurt that a person who calls you a best friend will just easily snub you out when you have no more use. That, and I probably should just stick to my good close girl best friends from now on. Because although it is kind of weird for a girl to befriend a guy without getting down and dirty, I might think innocently of the friendship, but he might not. 

Wait. Really? So was that it? Was it because I was so unfeeling and blind about how you feel? COME ON!!! You're just a coward.

That's it. I'm done with this BFF crap. I just wanted to be happy for my friends, if only they'll let me in on it. But damn. It's too weird now.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Bridesmaid vs the Wedding Planner ...

8.40pm today...

Me: But I want to be the Bridesmaid! *wailed*

Her: Cannot, you're too resourceful. You are my wedding planner. *oh she reasons*

Me: But I've never done wedding... and that's hard work!

Her: You offered last time, remember?

Me: Yes back when it all seemed unlikely that you would ever get, you know, married!

Her: Well I am going to! *suddenly glows annoyingly*

Me: But I want to be the Bridesmaid before it's too late even for me! *wailed louder*

Her: Too late for what? You're the one who keeps delaying. There's hope what ...

Me:  Hoi! I'm talking about being a Bridesmaid, wear the lovely dresses, look pretty, hold your train, your bouquet, wipe your smudges, whatever ... not crack my brain making sure everything runs smoothly when you can have somebody else do it. I want the fun part, not the hard work... *pleads unsuccessfully*

Her: But you're my sister, who else can I trust? *doing that puppy-dog eyes. damn.*

Me: Fine fine. Ok lah. Sigh ... You owe me for this. *resigns*

Her: And you can sing at my wedding too... He he.

16-year-old Niece: I am going to be a veeerrryyy pretty Bridesmaid. I plan to follow in the wake of the 21 Dresses. *boasts. brat.*

Me: Shaddap! Or I make sure you wear purple, like Barney. I'm the Planner! I'm JLo ... *pokes eyes*



Saturday, September 24, 2011

I lost it... oh dang ...

Amidst the financial crisis (err, mine) and sorely eeking out me-time between here and everywhere else, I have severely neglected my regular writing in here. There goes a promise. If only I can get paid for every post I write (no I dont mean thru ads, that's too slow), won't that help to solve a lot of things? Alas.

But. I try. Here's me. Trying.

Err, what to write? I swear I had this tiny idea last night about cooking and eating and sleeping solo, but somehow, now they just went poof! Vanished into thin air. Trying.
Still nothing. Nothing. Oh man I envy you all. You all seem so much better and frequent writers than me!
I shall hang my head in shame and retreat to my dungeon until an inspirational rock rolls over me, or at least until I can come up with something more intelligent than this.
Somebody needs a loooooooong overseas holiday.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hello transit point ...

[My apology for being sorely remiss, emo, and heavily melodramatic on the posts. Thanks Cyril for the reminder. Perasan juak aku kejap tek ... :-)]


Hello! Back from Kota Bersejarah, and will probably share the pictures in a later post. The training was okay, I was kind of misinformed, but all in all, at least I gained something like a chance to get away, a chance to visit Melaka, and a chance to make new friends, no matter that there are more guys than girls during the course.

Hey hey ... Today is Malaysia Day!! Oh I wont be talking about the makings of Malaysia here, that's so boring, and you may Google it yourself. Pointing out right here that it's a public holiday and i'm smack in the middle of the action! Yeay!

Got a good rate at a hotel right next to Lot 10, and then hey, they upgraded my room and the stay improved a notch! I am so coming back here.

... although that humongous bolster is kind of distracting ...

My room has a splendid view of the metrocity. Sunset, sunrise, dusk, dawn... I keep the curtains opened so the view and I won't miss a single action. ;-)

Just managed to catch the Malaysia Day Parade on TV since it's probably packed up in the location. My Chairman y'all led the Communication Contingent ... Good for you boss! You woke up earlier than me!

... that's my Tan Sri in the red cap ...

By the corner of the area, there's this Iranian cafe where some of the good looking Arabs were chatting away and eating some really yummy looking food. Those looked fattening, but what's not to love in KL when it comes to food? I had a very fulfilling roti nan cheese with mutton and chicken dishes ...

... although in Kuching they serve it in a package, not like a self-service pick-and-choose as they did here. Kinda left me confused for a while there.

... And! I bought two books. Wajib ya.

Ciao... going to pack up more calories now, breakfast. What other unique stuff I havent eaten so far? Korean? Pakistan? French?

Happy Malaysia Day!
(Note: Pictures of Blackberry quality only)

Monday, September 12, 2011

I will be away in ...


... for 4 days berkursus dan membosankan diri dengar ceramah. Harap-harap banyak outdoor activity macam redah hutan ke, terjun kolam ke, makan durian ke. Hope to have time for sightseeing too, never been here.

And perhaps after that, prowl the metrocity shopping for novels. Yeay!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Shut up and listen ...

Listen and Silent are synonymous. Jumble up the words and you get the same back. And I wonder why it is such a hard thing for some people to do.

When someone tells you their problem, you listen. You listen and you keep silent. You let the other person talk and unload, and you give all your ears. You don't add in your own story to tell. That's call sharing. You don't give advice when it's not asked for. That's call counseling. You don't tell that person to take it easy. In the first place it's not. Don't switch to a big sister or a superior person role or I've-been-there-done-that-gone-thru-hell mode. If you need to switch into anything, just switch into this person who says, "I'm here, it's alright. Let it all out."

There is a world of difference in how you may help a person in distress. Sometimes listening helps a lot more than you know. Sometimes a problem doesn't need your solving it. Sometimes giving our fullest attention is the most precious gift we can offer anyone.

A proper venting deserves a proper outlet. Better you than me destructing stuff. Maybe that's why it's better to talk to strangers who know next to nothing about you because they can't do much except lend a sympathetic ear. Maybe too that's why people pay a lot of money to have psychiatrists listen to their problem.

Here's the thing: I spent my entire life playing the listener. As a matter of fact, a few minutes ago I was trying to bemoan a distressing issue and to unload my ache to a friend, but I ended up listening to her recounting her experience on the matter. For every sentence I uttered, she gave a sentence back recalling, relating. At one point, she spoke more than me and at which point I gave up, a little annoyed and disappointed. Isn't it my turn to talk, I asked myself silently, repeatedly?

Well I am far from perfect or even good. In fact, listening is exhausting business. Sometimes, I wish I could say something wise or intelligent, but it would only work if it were needed. Sometimes I was tempted to give my two cents worth of advice, but I wondered if I'm even the authority on the subject matter. Oh I tried those before and it had unsatisfying results. In which case, I have learned to simply pay attention and besides, it's rude to interrupt.

And I thought, at a moment like this, who can I really talk to, not talk with? Come to think of it, I rarely found someone who would actually be that person I am to other people. They are so few and far between and I lost most of them along the way to geography, marriage, irrelevance, or simply bad truce. The only person I am sure will listen to me unwaveringly at this point would be my mother, in fact contrary to popular belief, a parent is the best listener a person could ever have, but there are just some things one doesn't talk about with one's mother, or father.

If ever you want to be a real helpful friend, just shush and listen, will you? Even an enemy listens more if only to find your missteps.

You see why a blog is such a blessing in disguise. You read and listened, didn't you?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Online shopping ...

I'm not proud of it but it's convenience, so why not? All I do is click here click here, manage transaction, ensure I have enough fund, verify, confirm and voila! Right there on my doorstep or office front desk the next few days! I don't even have to go anywhere. Total fun right? I can even redeem my points, pay my bills, loans etc. So if I hear a colleague or even my boss says that he will take half a day at the bank to pay bills or loans, be very suspicious. They're probably lying. Oh come on, I know you have used that excuse before too, who didn't? But now that technology has caught up, that is fast becoming the lamest excuse anyone can come up with.

Who does that anymore? Ha ha. Overdue bills are not a problem anymore, you know. Where have you been?

In fact, thanks to technology, Banks should only be visited by people who need to cash checks, withdraw more than RM5K cash, sign agreements etc, or for those who have no access to Internet.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy ...

The courier guy has just delivered my parcel from That's 4 books from Elizabeth Hoyt. Looking forward to the weekend. *YEAY*

Not bad for a Monday, eh.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Along The Way ...

P/S: Give it a minute to fully load, enable your audio, turn up the volume, listen to the ache, give Country a chance. My words againts the world.

Scarecrows and devils are the only thing out this late
And what that says about me, it’s probably true
'Cause I’ve been carrying all these words around
For too long and now it’s time to lay them down
I’m here for forgiveness and I need it from you

The road was long and it took so much time
But I learned a lot from my mistakes
I made some wrong turns that I’m not proud of
They made me who I am today
I just got a little lost along the way

I won’t blame you if you turn around and slam the door
I understand if you don’t want to hear me again
I’m not here to fight, I came to you tonight
To say I’m sorry and to try to make it right
I’m only finding my way back from where I’ve been,
Don’t know where I’ve been

The road was long and it took so much time
But I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes
I made some wrong turns that I’m not proud of
They made me who I am today
I just got a little lost along the way

The road was long and took so much time
But I learned a lot from my mistakes
I made some wrong turns that I’m not proud of
Made me who I am today
I just got a little lost
Just been a little lost
I just got a little lost along the way

Scarecrows and devils are the only thing out this late
What that says about me, it’s probably true.

- Gary Allan

Friday, September 2, 2011

What's One Malaysia to you?

When you say 1Malaysia, what exactly does it mean?

Does it mean we can be many races and one race to rule us all?
Does it mean we can be many religion and one religion to dominate us all?
Does it mean we can be many culture and one culture to guide us all?
Does it mean we can be many heads but one head to lead us all?
Does it mean we can visit freely during festive open houses?
Does it mean we can go to the same school and have the same educational rights?
Does it mean we can sit down with strangers on the same train home for the holidays?
Does it mean we can eat different things at the same table in the same shop?
Does it mean we can have various sections in the market for various group of people?
Does it mean we can wear anything we want without getting any censorious look?
Does it mean we can recite our prayers too at functions in the majority?
Does it mean we can sit down to dinner and not have to fear of a possible raid?
Does it mean we can marry for love, and maintain our different backgrounds?
Does it mean we can regard everyone as our brothers and sisters?
Does it mean we fight for the same freedom of land and faith?
Does it mean we can hold in awe and reverence the same King and Queen?
Does it mean we can stand under the same flag and sing the same anthem with pride?

Does it mean you and I are in fact, family?

Think about it for a minute. To what end will the concept make us, or break us?

If it is unity we seek, it is unity we should practice. But are we going about this the wrong way, interpreting things the way we want to instead of the way it should be? ONE does not mean one man's rule and dominion. ONE means working out our differences and tolerate each other like you would a family, because we are the only nation we've got.

It does not take a superhuman to love your country. Just say it like you mean it.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia.